You may be feeling that lately your
partner walks all over you in the relationships, or doesn't value your opinion
on certain matters. When you start to sense that you are being discounted by
your partner it's time to take a stand and hold your ground. Being passive is
not going to get you what you want out of the relationship, and in the end you
might get to a point where you start feeling resentful towards the other
person. To keep a relationship strong and healthy, learn how to....
stand your
ground.
STEP 1
Speak up in a calm, but stern, manner.
Tell your significant other how something makes you feel or what your opinion
is about something. Do not stay quiet and allow your partner to make all of the
decisions or call all the shots when it comes to your relationship. Avoid
giving your partner directives or commands, as this is not part of standing
your ground, but rather falls into the category of being controlling.
STEP 2
Defend your values, morals, ethics and
religious or spiritual beliefs. Explain why something bothers you from a moral
or ethical standpoint, quote a religious text or tell your partner that you
have a certain set of values that cause you to feel differently about a
situation and that requires you to stand your ground.
STEP 3
Establish your boundaries. Set reasonable
parameters for your comfort and explain them to the other person. Your
significant other will never know what your boundaries are unless you make them
known.
STEP 4
Learn how to say no in the relationship.
While it is important to compromise as a couple, you should not put yourself in
situations that make you feel vulnerable, taken advantage of or cheated out of
an opinion.
STEP 5
Use specific examples if you are standing
your ground in regard to something that your partner does. If you don't like
the fact that your significant other tells you what to do, insults you in front
of friends or checks your phone when you aren't looking, provide specific
instances and examples of this behavior to support your defense as you stand
your ground.
STEP 6
Do not make the other person feel badly.
Standing your ground is not the same as belittling or demeaning the other
person. You can still approach standing your ground from a place of love, and
this does not have to be a hurtful process.
Tip
You might want to practice what you want
to say if confrontation is not something you are familiar or comfortable with.
Source by Kyra Sheahan
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